


Mobbed by love

by StormyBear30



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-11-20 23:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11344878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30
Summary: Aaron Hotchner found the love of his life in Spencer Reid and he hoped to spend the rest of his days loving and spoiling the younger man. However, due to his status he was forced to flee the country and leave his love behind.  Two years later he's back and willing to do anything to gain back the love that is still more precious to him than anything else in the world.





	1. Chapter 1

I watch him from afar, watch as he sit at an outside table at his favorite coffee shop laughing and talking with his friends. It's been two years and other then his hair being a lot longer his handsome face looks just the same. My heart pangs with sadness as I recall the four happy years that we spent together as a loving and committed couple. The sadness turns quickly as I watch another approach the table, watch as the smile already gracing his face turns into a bright beam of love and affection. I watch as the man leans down and kisses him, wrapping his arms around him as he takes the empty seat beside him. Clenching my teeth I grab onto the steering wheel as hard as I can because the urge to rush across the street is great. I hate that someone else is touching him, holding him, kissing him. I hold the wheel even tighter because the press of deadly metal on my hip reminds me of why I had to leave him in the first place. I know I need to leave because if I don't the rage that is consuming me will leave one dead and the man that I love with all my heart hating me more then he already does. 

It's weeks later and I've finally been able to track him where he is alone. Once again he is sitting at an outdoor table at the same coffee shop. He doesn't notice me as I sit one table away and watch the way he reads in full concentration. I can't help but smile as I slide into the vacant chair beside him because he is so into the book he is reading that he doesn't notice me. “Good book?” I question, my heart hammering in my chest as he pulls his eyes away from the words on the page, those same eyes growing huge as I remove the sunglasses hiding my face. “Hello baby…” I say with a smile as he continues to gape at me. The moment seems to drag for an eternity as he opens his mouth numerous times as if to speak, his eyes blinking nervously in a way that makes me smile even wider at its cuteness. 

“I have to go” He blurts out as he scrambles to collect his belongings, cursing loudly when his coffee cups tips over and spills down the front of his pants. In a flash I am up, attempting to mop up the dark liquid. “No…no…no…don't touch me…don't touch me” He cries out, slapping my hands away as he turns and flees, leaving his book and me in his haste. 

“Spencer…” I cry out after him, catching up to him without effort due to my many running marathons. “Baby…please I know your angry with me but you have to listen to what I have to say. Just let me explain” I beg as I grab onto his arms and force him to stop. 

“Are you fucking kidding me” He screams as he once again slaps my hands away. “You just disappear without a trace for two fucking years and now that your back I'm supposed to just listen to what you have to say” His face is red and his eyes are clouded with pain as he slumps against the brick wall behind him. “Four years, Aaron” The tears in his eyes nearly break me as he locks eyes on the pavement. “Four years we were together and then one day poof you were gone as if you never existed” 

“Spencer…” I whisper his name when he finally looks at me, tears rolling down his face. 

“You just left me like I didn't matter” He sobs as he continues to stare into my eyes. 

“You meant everything to me. You mean everything to me” I reply truthfully as I fight the urge to pull him into my arms and never let him go again. “Spencer…you are angry with me and you may even hate me, but you have to know that the reason I left you the way I did was because of the love I hold for you. I know that doesn't make any sense and I know that I have no right to ask for anything but will you please come with me so I can explain everything to you?” I can see how conflicted he is as he purses his lips together and locks his eyes on the pavement once again. The nod is barely there but I take it as I place my hand on the small of his back and lead him towards the car I have waiting for us. 

No words are spoken as we drive down the busy streets heading towards my hotel. Again he looks conflicted as we pull up to the hotel, the valet opening the door and waiting for us to exit. “I promise no funny stuff” I assure as I put my hands up in surrender. “I just want the chance to explain everything and…”

“And nothing. You explain and then I'm leaving” I want to fight him but I know this look and I know that if I push him to hard he will leave before I can truly explain why it was I had to hurt him the way that I did. 

“All I ask is that you allow me to explain” I say as I climb out of the car. He completely rebuffs my attempt to help him out, walking two steps ahead of me as we enter the hotel lobby. Once again no words are spoken as we take the elevator up to the penthouse suite. “Can I get you a drink?” I ask as we enter the hallway of my new temporary home. 

“Well I can see that you taste for the extravagant hasn't changed” He says instead of answering my question, which causes me to chuckle as I pour two drinks regardless as he begins to explore his surroundings. “It's a bit early for drinking don't you think” I hear him say once he has exited the final room and I hand him the glass. 

“Regarding the circumstances I think it's ok” I reply as I down the bourbon in my glass. I watch as he sits at the other end of the living area before doing the same. 

“You wanted to talk now talk” He says as he places his empty glass on the coffee table, arms crossed in a way that is so Spencer Reid that I have to fight the urge to smile yet again. 

“First I want to say how sorry I am for the way that I left you. You have to know that the only reason I did it was for your safety. I know that doesn't make any sense to you but it's true” I begin, the urge for another drink great but I fight it.

“Do you really think that I am that stupid that I didn't know who you were when we first met or what you did for a living” He shoots back in anger. “I knew who you were the moment I met you at that charity event but I didn't care because you were the most handsome man in the room and there was just something about you that drew me towards you” I am speechless as I watch him get up and grab the bottle from the liquor cart. I still say nothing as he refills both glasses before sitting down once again. “I knew but I didn't care…” He hesitates with a nervous swallow before downing his drink. I do the same as I wait for him to continue. “Because you were so amazing and charming and you made me feel so cared for and loved when we were together” The tears are back as he slumps into the cushion of the couch. “I kept waiting for you to figure out that I knew but you never did, so I just continued to pretend that I didn't…because it just didn't matter to me”

“I was so afraid if I told you that you would leave me” I finally find the will to speak. “I hated lying to you but I couldn't lose you because of it” I tell him as I lean forward and hide my face in order to collect myself. Closing my eyes I recall the first time I had ever laid eyes on the man who would eventually become my everything. 

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

Flashback…

When I first met Spencer it was at a charity event in Las Vegas Nevada. I was in town for business and was invited to a charity event by a dear friend of mine. I usually hated functions like that and was debating making it an early night when I spotted him across the room. He looked as bored and uncomfortable as I felt as I continued to watch him. He was handsome in a nerd like way, with shoulder length hair and big brown eyes. He wore a suit that was a bit outdated and oversized on him yet something told me he had an amazing body underneath it. He was younger then me but I didn't care because there was something about him that immediately drew me in. I continued to watch as a dark haired main with a goatee and mustache waked up to him, placing an arm around his waist. A fire began to boil within my stomach as he leaned in and whispered something in his ear, his face flushing with embarrassmentI was about to walk over to him but my friend stepped into my line of sight and by the time I was able to move around him my handsome mystery man was gone. 

“Dammit Rossi…he's gone” I cried out as I spun around to face him with a great desire to strangle him. 

“Ahh yes…I knew you would find an attraction towards him” He smirked, pulling a cigar out of his pocket and lighting it, despite the signs everywhere that declared no smoking. 

“Who is he?” I questioned, ignoring the smirk he shot my way“ Who is he” I asked again as I scanned the crowded room in hopes of seeing him again. “And who was that old dinosaur with him?” My patience was growing thin as the smirk on his face before returned. 

“His name is Doctor Spencer Reid and his date for the evening is actually younger then you my friend” He grinned before blowing smoke in my face. “I knew you would be attracted to him, knowing your lust for younger men and all” He went on with a wink, dropping the still lit cigar into a water glass at a nearby table. I couldn't deny his words as I did often find myself in the company of men much younger then me. “Would you like to meet him?” He asked with a grin, one I wanted to punch off of his face. “The good doctor and I know each other quite well” He went on as he began to walk away from me. “Oh and by the way your angry dictator face doesn't scare me but it might him so put a smile on your face and try to act like a gentleman” I ignored his remark as I followed him, still scowling as we moved across the room. 

“He's a doctor?” I questioned. 

“Of science” He replied. “The kid is a genius. He has like a hundred degrees from some of the top universities in the country and yet every time I turn around he working on another one” There was an air of pride as he talked and it made me wonder just how close the two of them were. 

“How old is he?” I asked as he came into my line of sight once again. 

“Early thirties I think” Rossi replied with another smirk. “What…too old?” 

“Just give me my introduction and then fuck off” I growled in return as I took a deep breath and did as he suggested and put a smile on my face. 

“Hey kid…” He greeted the young man, the two of them sharing a quick hug before he turned my way. “Spencer, this is my good friend Aaron Hotchner” He said as he laid a hand on my shoulder. “He's up visiting from the D.C. area”

“Hello Spencer…” I said as I reached out to shake his hand, pulling it back quickly as he put his hands up as if in surrender. 

“Sorry…I don't shake hands” He said with a smile despite the uncomfortable situation. “Did you know that more germs are passed by a single hand shake then kissing someone opened mouth” He explained, causing my eyes to zero in directly on his plump lips. “Sorry…” He apologized again as a faint blush crossed his cheeks. “Please don't feel I am trying to be rude. I just don't feel comfortable shaking someone hand that I don't know”

“Perfectly understandably” I replied with a smile as I lost myself in his brown eyes. 

“What brings you to Vegas?” He questioned, forcing me back into reality because there was no way in hell I was giving him that information. 

“Business” I replied as I shifted uneasily on my feet. 

“Oh…what kind of business?” He asked as I tried to come up with an answer that was anything but the truth. 

“Aaron dabbles in a little bit of everything” Rossi spoke up, giving me as odd look because in the line of work that I did I was always quick on my feet. 

“Ok then” He said with a nod as he pursed his lips together as of on thought. 

“He's also a very rich man” My friend spoke up again with an evil smirk on his face, one that I knew was going to cost me in one way or another. “Very rich” He drawled out as he patted me on my shoulder. “In fact before we came over here he was telling me that he wanted to donate one million dollars to your charity” I wanted to clobber him as he sent a wink my way. “Spencer heads the board for this charity so he can tell you how much a donation like that means to him” we both watched as he left, my heart doing tiny flip flops in my chest as I turned my attention back towards him and the beautiful smile that was crossing his face. 

“That's very generous” The smile got larger as he began to speak. “I started this charity after my mother passed away” He went on, his smiling diminishing as he got a far away look on his face. “She had schizophrenia for as far back as I can remember but it was actually brain cancer that took her away from me” Tears glistened in his eyes as he blinked nervously before pulling himself together. “I founded this charity in her honor” 

“I'm sorry for your loss but what an amazing tribute to her. There is no doubt that you loved her very much” 

“She was my best friend” He replied as he stared deeply into my eyes. “Do you want to get out of here?” He asked, not waiting for an answer as he began to walk away. “Do you have a car?” He asked over his shoulder as we headed for the door. 

“Yes…I rented a limo” I replied, chasing after him. We stood in silence as we waited for the limo to drive up. “Don't you have to stay here with it being your charity?” I questioned as we sat in the back of the limo, the driver waiting for directions. 

“No” He said matter of factly. “Where are you staying?” 

“The Bellagio” I told him, my heart nearly stopping in my chest as he shifted around until he was straddling my lap. 

“Tell the driver to drive” He demanded as he leaned down and kissed me. His lips were large and amazing as he allowed me to take control, my hands gripping his waist as we continued to explore each other's mouth. Time flew by so quickly as a knock on the window forced us apart. 

Are you sure about this?” I asked, my heart stopping once again as I waited for him to respond. 

“Very” Was his response as he kissed me once again before exiting the car. My head was spinning as we rode the elevator up to the pent house suite. I was confused how this seemingly shy man was practically ripping my clothes off the minute we entered the hall way, yet excited in a way that I had never experienced before. “Whoa…” I heard him say as he moved away from me and began walking through my temporary home. “Extravagant” He grinned before continuing to explore. “I found the bed room” I heard him hollow a moment later. “Are you going to join me?” 

I didn't hesitate to do as he asked as I strolled into my bedroom and found him standing before my bed. “Spencer…not that I'm not flattered but are you doing this because of my donation?” I found myself asking, hoping and praying that it wasn't because of that or that he was some kind of crazed sex addict. 

“No…” He shot back seemingly offended. “I thought you were interested by the way you kept staring at me but maybe I was wrong” He looked so much like a young boy as he sat down at the foot of the bed. “Honestly I not that clear on social cues sometimes. Did I misread the signals?” 

“You didn't misread the signals and I am very much interested” I assured as I moved to sit down beside him. “And I want to apologize if I insulted you but I just wanted to make sure that you weren't doing this because of my donation” I could feel my own checks redden as I wrung my hands in my lap. Taking a deep breath I went on with my explanation. “I have a thing for young, sexy men” I began. “I took one look at you and I couldn't stop myself from wanting you, so have no doubt that I am very attracted to you Spencer Reid”

“You are the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on” He said, his cheeks so red that I knew if I reached out and touched them they would be warm to the touch. “I don't normally do things like this but I couldn't let you get away without trying. 

I didn't give him another chance to speak as I slid my hand around the back of his neck and kissed him. This one was a little slower as together we removed both set of clothing before moving upwards on the bed. Making love to Spencer was even more amazing then it had been with any other I had been with and it frightened me just a little bit. Afterwards we laid together just talking and getting to know each other. I learned that he was a highly respected professor at Las Vegas University, who was highly decorated in his field and had published many articles and books. I had no idea what he was talking about when he tried to explain what it was his field exactly entailed and he was graceful enough to pretend that I understood. He told me about his mother and how at the age of eighteen he was left alone to fend for himself and how he had made money enough to survive by using his wits to beat the odds at the casinos, that was until they became wise to his game and banned him for entering. 

I told him very little about me. I told him that I was a business man who was based in Washington D.C. I told him a little about my family and how I grew up in Virginia, avoiding going into any real details because I knew if I did he would know who I was and what I truly did for a living. I made love to him once again when he tried to ask questions, thankful the deception worked once he fell asleep in my arms. 

What I felt would be a one night stand turned out to be so much more as we spent every waking moment together the rest of my stay in Las Vegas. We promised to keep in touch the night before I was scheduled to fly back home but I could tell he didn't believe me as he kissed me goodbye and then walked away without looking back. However the following weekend I found myself back on a plane heading towards Vegas because I couldn't get him out of my mind. For nearly six months we commuted back and forth between D.C. and Vegas. Most of the time it was me doing all the traveling but I flew him out a few times in between his teaching schedule. Each time he came to visit me I would show him all that my home town had to offer in hopes of convincing him to move there for me, but fear prevented me from actually asking due to the huge secrete I was keeping from him. 

“You need to either ask him to move here or you need to move on” I heard my second in command, Derek Morgan say as he sat in my office late one night. I was distracted and Derek knew it as I tried to concentrate on the problems in front of me but my mind kept wandering towards Spencer. 

“You worry about what's going on with our little problem and not what is going on with Spencer and I” I barked in annoyance as I slammed my fist on the table in front of me. 

“See the thing is you are making it my problem because you can't make a decision for shit lately. We have people stealing millions of dollars from right under our nose and all you care about is your little boy toy” He shot back in anger. 

“He's not my boy toy and you fucking known it” I replied softly as I sunk back into my chair because Derek was right and Spencer and our situation was weighing heavily on my mind constantly. It was to the point that I couldn't concentrate on anything else other then how much I wanted to be with him. 

“I know” He said with some compassion in his voice . “Seriously Hotch…you need to make a decision. You are so distracted lately and that makes you an easy target for our enemies” 

“Your right. I need to end this. He's a distraction” I told him absentmindedly, my heart breaking at the idea of never seeing him again. 

“Or you could ask him to move here” 

“You really care about him don't you?” I questioned with a sad smile because since I had started seeing Spencer he and Derek had hit it off from the start and a friendship had formed. “No I can't” I yelled before he could answer. “Coming here puts him at risk…being with me puts him at risk” 

“Hotch…you are obviously in love with him and as for him being in danger, so we just make sure that there is always someone watching his back. We hire the best of the best to protect him because yes, Hotch, I care about him too”

“I can't ask him to give up his entire life because of me”

“Ask him…you may be surprised at the answer” The smirk on his face was playful and mischievous as he got up off of his chair and headed for the door. “Call him…ask him. Was the last thing he said before he exited the room. 

I sat there for a long time as I tried to come up with what was going to be the best for him. I knew the answer was leave him alone and move on with my life but I said the complete opposite as I picked up the phone and declared my love for him. I asked him to give up everything he held dear in Las Vegas and surprisingly he told me he had been waiting for me to ask. I hired movers that day, left immediately on my private jet to pick him up and within ten hours Aaron Hotchner and Spencer Reid began a life that I felt we would spend together forever. 

End Flashback…

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

Silence surrounds us as both try to contain our raw emotions. I know he is angry and I know that there is a good chance that he hates me for what I did to him but I am hopeful that once I tell him everything he will find it in his heart to forgive me. “I am the head of the largest crime syndicate on the east coast” I begin because even though he says he knows who I am I want to make sure. “You could say that it's a family business since my father, his father and so on and so on have run it. I pretty much run this entire city from the palm of my hand. I have ties with other crime families, including overseas. I won't go into detail as to what exactly it is that I do because you already hate me enough” I down another drink because for the first time ever I am ashamed of my life and what I do for a living. “You have to know though that every word and gesture of love I shared with you was one hundred percent real. I never once lied to you about any of that. From the moment I laid eyes on you I felt a connection and although I didn't know it then it was my heart alerting me to the fact that it had found its soulmate” 

“Then why did you leave me” He questions softly as I look up and find him looking at me tearfully. “If you loved me so damned much then why did you leave me?” The angers back but I can't blame him because I literally just up and left him without a word or warning. 

“I have many enemies Spencer and I was alerted to the fact that several of the crime families I had been trying to over take decided to band together and put a hit on my life” I begin to explain, watching as with each word I speak his face grows redder and redder in anger. “I left because when a hit is out on your life it isn't only on you but everyone in your family as well” 

“So you decided that your life was more important then mine and left me here alone” He yells as he jumps up off of the couch he is sitting on and begins to pace madly before me. 

“No…Spencer…no” I cry out as I jump up off of my own chair and rush towards him. “I left because your life was the only thing that mattered. I left because I couldn't stand the idea of anything happening to you, the idea of you losing your life because of me. You have to know that I would gladly give up my life if it meant that you got to live another day” I have tears in my eyes as I pull him into my arms and hold him tightly. “I'm sorry I left you but I had too…I had to” Were both crying as he allows me to continue to hold him. I'm not sure who has made the move first but our lips come together in a way that I have been craving for the previous two years. It is messy and rough and I want it to go one forever but it all comes crashing to an end as he pulls away from me slightly, both of us breathing heavily. 

“I'm sorry I can't” He says winded as we still stand close together with our foreheads pressed together. “I can't ever forgive you for the way you hurt me…the way you just abandoned me” My heart shatters within my chest because as much as I expected this was going to be the outcome, a small part of me was hopeful that he still loved me enough to forgive me. 

“Please Spencer, find it in your heart to try” I beg, so unlike myself but for him I would grovel on my knees for all eternity if he would forgive me 

“I can't” Is his response, The warmth of his tears dripping onto my face. “You hurt me in a way that I can never forgive you for. You just up and left me with no explanation. You left me alone and vulnerable to your enemies because you didn't care enough to worry about my life as well as your own. I have to go” He whispers as he pushes away from me and begins walking towards the door, his phone taking that exact moment to ring. I know who it is and an anger unlike I've ever felt before rushes through me. 

Taking a deep breath I curb the anger because I know it's isn't the last image I want him to see of me. “Spencer…” I call out his name as he turns to face me one last time. “ I know you don't believe me but please know this…I may have left you but I insured that you were never alone. I insured before I left that there would always be someone there to protect you and keep you safe from my enemies. It killed me to leave you the way that I did but I did what I felt was the best for you because I love you more then anything in the entire world” The anger is gone and in its place utter sadness because I can tell by the look on his face that he doesn't believe me. 

“Goodbye Aaron. Take care of yourself” He says as he opens the door and exits from my life. All the strength leaves my body as I fall to the floor and lose myself to the devastating sadness. 

Nearly a month has passed since my encounter with Spencer in my hotel room, several weeks of bone crushing sadness and depression as I try and find the will to function. I hardly have the will to live and if not for Derek and the friendship shared between us I would have given up long ago. I don't have any fight anymore because the idea of living another second without Spencer in my life breaks me. I can't eat, can't sleep, can't concentrate on anything other then how much I miss him and how this is all my fault. I am so distracted that twice this week I gave orders that once again could have put a hit on my life but thankfully Derek was able to fix my screw up before things could escalate to that level. 

“So we’re right back where we were six years ago” Derek says as we stand in front of my car after an extremely long and mind numbing day. 

“I don't know what you mean” I lie as I fiddle with the keys in my hand because all I want to do is go back to my hotel and hide behind my sorrows and drink the night away. 

“Look…I get that he hurt you but you either have to do something to win him back or move on” He says directly, my heart dying a little more at the idea of moving on, although I know Spencer already has. 

I don't say anything as I climb into my car and drive away, my mind falling back to happier times when life was good and we were happy. I don't even realize where I am until I look out the window and realize I am parked in the driveway of the house we used to live in. Tears burn my eyes as I recall what a money pit it was from the moment I purchased it for him, but he had fallen in love with it on sight and I was willing to do anything to make him happy. I assume there is no one home since there are no cars around and decide to take a look inside for old times sake. 

The minute I enter the hallway I am immediately brought back five years because nothing has changed. It is exactly as I remember it as I walk deeper into the house. My heart aches as I continue to walk through, trailing my hand along the back of the couch where we had shared many intimate moments and also many mundane but I cherish every one of them even more then I did before. I can’t help but smile as I take in the hundreds of books that line the insane amount of shelves that he insisted we have installed. However, I did it gladly because I knew his mind was like a sponge and it needed constant knowledge. 

Tears burn my eyes once again as I enter the bedroom and lay my eyes on the huge four poster bed that once again he insisted he had to have. I argued that it was too big and to out of date but again I didn't put up much in terms of a fight because I always wanted to make him happy. Closing my eyes I sit upon the soft mattress recalling how much time we actually spent in it, most of the time not sleeping. Laying back I recall the last night we made love in it and that thought alone causes my heart to skip a beat because I miss touching him, holding him so much that I can hardly breath. 

“I knew you would show up here eventually” I hear a familiar voice speak as I jerk myself off of the bed while grabbing for my gun. He doesn't even flinch as I aim it at his heart because there is nothing more that I want to do then put a bullet through it. 

“I should kill you where you stand” I growl, squeezing the trigger a little so he knows I'm not playing around. 

“Do you think I really care if you kill me Hotch?” He throws back as he continues to stand there. “Because my heart died the minute you showed back up in town” 

“Am is supposed to feel sorry for you?” I yell, anger boiling deep within me at his nerve. “Trust me when I tell you Alvez, I feel anything but sorrow for the man who stole the love of my life from me” My hand is starting to tremble from the anger and the need to end his life. 

“I wouldn't expect anything else and I don't blame you for what I did, but the truth is I would go it again because he is an amazing man” I don't know if he is taunting me or just speaking the truth and either way doesn't help to make me want to kill him any less as I recall how Luke Alvez came into our lives and how my relationship with Spencer changed forever. 

 

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

Flashback…

“Are you sure this man will be able to take care of Spencer?” I asked Derek after he had told me he had found the perfect person to watch out for Spencer when I wasn't around. Since Spencer had agreed to move to D.C. I had made it my life's goal to always keep him safe, especially during those times when I couldn't be with him. I was connected to several security services in the city constantly monitoring him and insuring his safety but I had put Derek to the task of finding the best of the best for the time I would have to leave him. 

“Would you relax” He replied in annoyance as he tossed a folder on my desk. “Alvez is the best of the best. He's a former Army ranger who was highly decorated before his honorable discharge”

“Discharge?” I cried out as I pushed the folder away. “How old is this man? I don't want an old man taking care of him. I need a younger man but not one so young that he wouldn't be able to handle any situation that may come up. 

“Would you just open the damn file and read it” He yelled, once again sliding the file back towards me. “Spencer means a lot to me too so you have to know that I would never do anything to put him in harms way. Hell, I would take care of him myself but then who the hell would keep you in line” There was a smirk on his face that I want to punch off but the actual truth was that Derek always did keep me on the straight and narrow, so to speak. 

His credentials were brilliant and amazing, yet as much as I liked what I had seen, something was still bugging me. “He seems to good to be true” I said as I looked up at Derek. “He could have any job with credentials like this. I can't believe that the government didn't try and snatch him up”

“They tried. He was approached by the FBI numerous times but he kept turning them down” 

“Are you fucking insane” I screamed as I pushed myself away from my desk. “You want to bring some man who could very well be working for the government into our fold? Did you forget who I am and what we do for a living?” I was livid as I began to pace madly back and forth because I couldn't believe how stupid and careless he had been. 

“I think the better question is are you insane!” He yelled back as he got up off of his own chair and marched over to where I was standing. “I have worked for you for over ten years now and not once have I ever put you or anyone in this organization in jeopardy. If you’d read the damn file you would see that he declined all invitations and has been working as an independent agent for years. I've used him numerous times for high risk jobs and he's always come through. He's smart, quick on his feet and perfect for this job. So get over your shit and read the damn file so I can make arrangements for you to meet him. 

I said nothing else as I broke the evil glare he was sending my way and headed back towards my desk. I knew I had pushed Derek too far because he only lost his temper like that when he felt I was being disrespectful. I remained quiet as I read through the file, throughly impressed with what I saw despite my earlier objections. “I'm sorry” I finally broke the silence surrounding us. “It's just that Spencer means so much to me and I'm worried that if we don't find someone who can take care of him something horrible could happen to him” The fact was that we had been hearing some rumblings about certain factions who I controlled trying to band together and over take me by putting a hit on my head. That alone was a concern but what had me worried more then anything was that when something like this happened the hit was usually on the family members as well. 

“Hotch…I know” He replied, the anger from before gone. “I'm going to get in touch with him and try and set this meeting for tomorrow. He's not cheap but I promise you he's the best in the business at what he does. He will keep Spencer safe and sound and pretty boy won't even know about it”

“You know I hate it when you call him that” I grumbled even though I knew Derek was straight and I had nothing to worry about. 

“I know” He winked as he exited my office. 

I hated him from the moment I met him. He was tall, young and fit with a smug attitude to go long with it. I wanted to punch the smile off of his face as Derek introduced us but I held strong because as long as he could protect the man that I loved nothing else mattered. “This is Spencer Reid” I began as I placed several blown up pictures before him. “He is someone that is extremely important to me and his well being is of the utmost importance” 

“He's cute” He grinned that smug grin from before as he picked up one of the pictures and leaned back on the chair he was sitting on. 

“I should shoot you were you are sitting” I roared as I reached for my gun, Derek hindering the process as he rushed across the room and pinned my arms before I could follow through. 

“Spencer is his lover and if you want to live to see another day you need to watch what you say or next time I will let him shoot you” Derek threatened as he let go of my arms while glaring at the other man. 

“My apologies” He said as he held his hands up in surrender. He seemed to mean what he said but I just ignored the gesture as I placed the photo he had back on the table with the others. “The only reason you are here is because Derek says you are the best at what you do and I need someone who can protect him at all cost. He can never know you are there. You have to be a ghost but close enough that if he is in danger you will be there within seconds to protect him. I have been informed of your fees but I will double those fees if you can guarantee his safety”

“ As Derek already told you I am the best of the best and I can give you a one hundred percent guarantee that I will protect him at all cost. However, I have to ask why you require my services in the first place. Is he in some sort of trouble? Is there a hit out on his life? I need to know in order to protect him”

I locked eyes with Derek from across the room because as much as I knew he trusted him I was reluctant to tell him everything. “I am sure you already know who I am?” I asked after I received a nod from my second in command. 

“Of course” He responded. 

“There have been rumors that there are several families that are not happy that I have taken over their areas and have put several hits out on me” I explained, regret washing over me at how I had put Spencer's life in jeopardy due to my selfishness. “I love this man very much. He is my everything” I continued speaking truthfully. “As far as we can tell he is not on their radar but I'm not willing to take that chance. Derek and I may have to flee and as much as it pains me, I refuse to put him in anymore danger by bringing him with me” 

“I understand and double fees or not I will protect him” He assured and I actually believed him. “Will I be able to get in touch with you once this happens?” 

“No…but I will get in touch with you” I replied, fighting back tears as I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. “There is no if…it's going to happen and it's going to be soon” I decided to tell him everything. “Those rumors are growing stronger so I will be leaving in the next day or two. He can't ever know where I am because I know he would come looking for me. He's going to be broken hearted when I leave but you must remain at a distance. I have made arrangements to purchase the house next to ours. I will give you access to our house tomorrow. Spencer and I always go book shopping through the antique shops on Wednesday. I will make sure we are gone until Thursday so you have time to wire the house and do what ever else you need to do. You will not go live until I give you the word do I make myself clear?” I demanded because I wanted my last night with Spencer to be just the two of us and not the spying eyes of Alvez and whoever else he had working for him. 

We were gone bright and early the next morning Spencer, grumbling about how early it was because he truly wasn't a morning person. The grumbling came to an end after an amazing breakfast before hitting the first antique book store. Spencer had an undying thirst for knowledge and he would read anything he could get his hands on but his favorite was fifteenth century literature. His mother was a professor before she passed away who had read it to him when he was a child and from there his love for it grew. 

“Are you sure it isn't too much?” I heard him ask as we exited a local bookshop. I couldn't help but smile at the look of happiness radiating off his face as he stroked the worn book in his hand. “I'm going to return it” He said a moment later as he turned to enter the store once again. 

“You will do no such thing” I said as I grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the car. 

“It's too expensive” He replied as he stopped and looked at me with such a conflicted look on his face. “I can't believe how selfish I was to even consider letting you buy it for me” 

“Spencer…I'd be willing to pay any amount to see that beautiful smile of yours” I assured as I tugged him closer and kissed him on the nose. “Your face literally lit up when you saw it and if having it makes you happy, it makes me happy”

“I love you” He said as the same smile from earlier graced his face once again. “Not just because you bought me this book but because you always make me feel so special” 

I literally had to fight back tears because I knew his love for me was going to change the minute I disappeared from his life, even if it was the best for him. “I love you too” I finally found my voice as I grabbed his hand once again and led him towards our waiting car. “So what's so special about this book?” I questioned once we were settled in the car and on our way to the surprise I had in store for him. 

“ My mother used to read it to me as a child” He responded with tears in his eyes as he gently caressed the front cover. “It's the first one I can ever remember her reading to me. It's always been a favorite of mine but somehow I lost the copy that she had and until today I was never able to find another” 

“I wish I could have met her because she sounds like an amazing woman” I told him as I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and urged him to lean into me. 

“She was” He replied with a sniff as I kissed the side of his head and held him close. 

“Will you read to me for a bit?” I asked, getting my response as he leaned even further into my side, opened the book and began reading. 

“Where are we going ?” He asked a while later when he realized we weren't going home. 

“It's a surprise” I replied with as much of a smile as I could muster because inside my chest my heart was dying. 

“What's the occasion?” He asked confused as he closed his book and sat up. 

“Do I have to have an excuse to spoil you?” I teased as I leaned over and stole a kiss. 

“No…” He replied with a blush. “But you spoil me every day” He said as he looked at the book lying in his lap before looking back up at me. 

“It's because you deserve to be spoiled” I told him truthfully as I leaned in and kissed him a bit longer that time. “I don't want to hear anything else” I spoke up before he had a chance to deny my words. “We've got about another hour before we get where we are going. I wonder what we can do in that hour?” I questioned out loud as I ogled him from top to bottom.

“I might have a few ideas” He giggled with a full on blush as he straddled my lap and kissed me hard and dirty. “Oh my god” He cried out an hour later as we exited the car after a shared blow job and hand job as he took a look at the house we would be staying in. “It's beautiful” He continued to gush as he looked around the private wooded area with lake. “This must be costing you a mint to rent” 

“ Not costing me a thing to rent” I said as I walked up to him and handed him a set of keys. “This is all yours baby” I smiled, it feeling more like a bribe for leaving him then the beautiful gift it truly was intended to be. 

“You bought this place for me?” He questioned with a look of awe on his face. 

“Yes” I answered simply as I took his hand and led him towards the house. 

“Oh my god Aaron…no” He cried out as we entered the house decorated the way I knew he would love. “I can't take this…oh my god” He stammered as he continued to explore. “I can't believe you did this all for me” His face was flushed with excitement as he ran over to me and hugged me so hard it took my breath away. “God I love you” He exclaimed as he kissed me quickly before pulling back. “I mean, I've always loved you but…oh man I just really love you” He kissed me again, causing me to laugh at just how happy my gesture seemed to make him. 

“Go look around while I go and check on dinner” I told him as I steered him towards the stairs leading to the upstairs bedrooms. I knew once he saw the master bedroom it was going to be near impossible to get him to leave and that thought alone made me smile even wider. “Spencer…” I called out thirty minutes later after ensuring my dinner plans were in good standing. “Hey…” I greeted as I walked into what was to be our bedroom and found him curled up on the bed with several books surrounding him. My smile remained as I entered the room and quietly sat down on a chair across from him. Tears burned my eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that day at the realization I would be leaving him shortly and breaking his heart in the process. 

“This room is so amazing” I heard him say as he straddled my lap, jerking me out of my dismal thoughts. “I can't believe you did all this for me” He whispered as he wrapped his arms around my neck and pressed his forehead to my own. 

“Do you like it?” I questioned because it was the one room I had personally drawn the plans up for because I wanted it to be special for him. The room was large with bookcases covering just about every square inch of wall space. In one corner I had a desk area with a computer and office equipment. The other corner had two high back Victorian chairs and a chaise lounger where he could curl up and read till his hearts content. The bookshelves were filled with different kinds of books with one whole section filled with all of his favorites. It was a place that I hoped he would come and spend time in once I was gone, a place that would bring him a little piece of happiness despite his sadness at my abandonment. 

“Oh Aaron I can't even explain it to you how much I love everything” He gushed as he closed his eyes and continued to hold onto me. 

“I so glad because I always want you to know just how much I love you and how much you mean to me” 

“You don't have to buy me a house to prove your love for me” He said as he opened his eyes and stared deeply into my own. “I know you love me just at the way you look at me. You look at me as if I am the most beautiful man on the planet, even though I'm anything but beautiful” He whispered, hiding his face in my neck. 

“I don't want to hear you say anything like that ever again” I said as I pushed him back enough to look at his face “You are the most beautiful and sexy man that I have ever laid eyes on. I look at you and I think how the fuck did I get so lucky. There was something about you the moment I saw you and although I figured you were going to be a one night stand you turned out to be someone so precious and important to me. Please don't ever forget how much you mean to me…how much I love you”

“I love you too” He replied softly as I leaned up and kissed him. “I'm so sorry” He cried out a moment later when his stomach growled loudly causing us both to laugh. 

“Come on” I chuckled as I nudged him from my lap. “Jennifer has dinner waiting for us downstairs” I chuckled as I wrapped my arm around his waist and led him towards the door. 

“J.J.’s here” He cried out happily as he ran down the stairs and towards the kitchen. “I couldn't keep the smile off of my face as I entered the kitchen and found the two them giggling like teenagers. I was never really sure how the two of them had bonded and became friends but I was grateful that he had someone other then me to talk to. 

“Would you like to join us for dinner Jennifer?” I asked as I walked into the room and hugged Spencer from behind. 

“Thank you sir but Will drove up with me and we are going to explore some of the countryside before heading back home. “I've made sure that you have everything you need. Dinner is already on the table. On the bottom shelf of the fridge you will find everything you need for breakfast tomorrow and the other thing we talked about” She winked as she picked up her purse from the counter. “Don't worry about cleaning up because Will and I will be back tomorrow night for that. Enjoy your night” She beamed as she hugged Spencer quickly. “Goodnight Sir” She smiled and nodded as she walked up to me. 

“Thank you Jennifer” I smiled back, thankful that I had someone as trustworthy and amazing as her in my employment. She had started out as my cook when I hired her but gradually she became instrumental in running my entire household. “Come on let's eat” I laughed when Spencer's stomach growled loudly once again. “Are you ready for dessert?” I asked once we had finished dinner and the dishes had been cleared away. “Jennifer made your favorite cake. The one that taste like coffee with the nuts in it” I couldn't help but smile as his eyes lit up because as much as he loved reading, he love coffee or anything coffee flavored as well. 

“We can have it for breakfast tomorrow” He replied with a playful look on his face as he got up from the table, took my hand and lead me towards the bedroom. “Right now all I want to do is take you to bed, get you naked and make love all night long” I wasn’t going to disagree with him as I followed him into the room we shared. He took the lead as he slowly removed all of my clothes nudging me onto the bed once they had all been removed. I watched lustfully as he removed his clothes as well before joining me on the bed. “You should be naked all of the time” I heard him say as he nipped and kissed his way down my body, paying particular attention to my stomach area. 

“Not to bad for an old man” I panted as he continued to explore as I recalled how fascinated he always seemed to be by my flat stomach. I couldn't help but smile smugly because I knew I had a nice body. I worked hard for it by running five miles everyday as well as working out with Morgan twice a week on my core. 

“Old man my ass” He huffed as he kissed back over my stomach and up my chest. “You put men my age to shame” My heart swelled at the look of longing and love I saw staring back at me before he leaned in and kissed me. We made love all night long before falling asleep together in each other's arms. The next morning we had the dessert we had missed eating at dinner before exploring the grounds around us. “This place is so relaxing” He said much later in the afternoon as we sat on the dock by the lake eating from a picnic basket Jennifer had packed for us. 

“I'm glad you think so” I replied as I took his hand into mine. “I always want you to think of this place as a happy place. I want you to come here and recall how much I love you and how much you mean to me. Please Spencer, I beg of you to never forget that” My throat got tight and my eyes began to glisten from the pain in my heart. 

“Is everything alright?” He questioned with a air of suspicion and concern. 

“Everything is fine baby” I falsely assured as I lifted his hand to my lips and kissed it. “I just still can't believe that someone like you loves me the way that you do. Here it is four years later and I still don't know what you see in me” That was the truth because even though I was quite secure in most everything in my life, some times I had insecurities about our age difference. 

“You are such an idiot and I think you are fishing for compliments but I will tell you anyway” He joked as he tugged on my arm until I laid down beside him on the blanket we were using. “You age doesn't matter to me because the first time I laid eyes on you I was a goner. You were the most handsome man in the room and you only had eyes for me. The only reason I made a play for you in the limo was because I didn't want to miss the opportunity to be with you” He blushed as we both recalled how he had practically jumped me in the limo on our way to my hotel. “I knew you were only in town for a short while and the rest is history” I lost it in that exact moment and as much as I tried to pull it together it was a lost cause. “Aaron…” He cried out with a look of panic on his face. 

Sitting up I shook my head from side to side in an attempt to make the torrent stop but I couldn't stop as I wrapped my arms around him the best that I could and cried until I had no more tears to cry. “I'm sorry” I sobbed several moments later after somewhat pulling myself together. “I don't know what came over me” I lied as I wiped at my wet face. “I'm fine” My web of lies continued as I pulled myself up, took his hand and led us towards the house. “I'm tired” I said once inside. “We have to head back home in the morning so why don't we go to bed. I'm going to take a shower first” He remained quiet as I walked away but I could still feel his eyes on me. 

“Are you sick or dying” I heard him yell a few moments later as he threw open the door of the shower and stepped inside fully clothed. “Because if you are we can fight it. We can do whatever it is we have to do and…”

“I'm not dying or sick” I cut him off before he flew into an all out panic. 

“Then why the tears?” He asked, his eyes so full of concern that I couldn't help but pull him into my arms and hold him close. “You’re scaring me Aaron” I could hear the quiver in his voice and once again my heart broke a little more inside because as much as I wanted to tell him the truth I knew I couldn't. 

“I've just been under a lot of pressure at work” I hedged as I pulled back and cupped his face gently. “I've been keeping a lot in and it's been building and building and today I just lost it” It was a half truth because what I did for a living was the cause of all of my heartache and pain. 

“Why haven't you talked to me about this. Jesus…Aaron we are partner and I'm always here for you no matter what. I love you and I want to be here for you in the ways you are always there for me” He rushed out, his arms flying everywhere. 

“I don't want to burden you” I told him, regretting it immediately at the look of anger that crossed his face. “Spencer…” I cried out after him when he shoved me away and exited the shower. He said nothing as he quickly undressed himself, tossing his wet clothes in the corner of the bathroom before grabbing a towel from the towel shelf. “Fuck…” I cried out as I grabbed a towel myself because I didn't want our last day together to end on such a horrible note. 

“Look I know you think that I'm some man-boy but I'm not a child and you don't have to protect me” He yelled the moment I entered the bedroom. 

“Man-boy?” I questioned, trying to control my laughter. 

“Do you really think you should be laughing at me at a time like this?” He was glaring at me with his arms locked tightly across his chest. He looked so young, yet crazy with a towel wrapped around his body and his wet hair flopping in his face. 

“Spencer, I don't think of you as a man boy” I finally turned serous because he was having none of my joking. “I'm sorry and you are right in that I shouldn't keep things from you. It's just that I don't want to burden you. I know you are a grown man and trust me I love that you are but regardless of that I always want to protect you” It was the truth and I could see he understood at the way his body began to relax. “I love you so much and I always want you happy. My job is stressful and I deal with a lot of horrible people and I just want to protect you from the evil in the world” A complete truth and yet he had no idea the lengths I would go to protect him. 

“And I appreciate that but how is that fair to you?” He asked as he moved forward until he was standing in front of me. “You have to remember that I know what it's like to live in a stressful environment and how it can affect you if you don't have anyone to be there for you” I knew he did and it was a huge part of the reason I always wanted to protect him. Growing up for Spencer had been hard. His father had up and left them when he was very young and he was forced to take on a responsibility that no child should have to deal with. He basically took care of his mother while going to school while being tortured and teased for being extremely smart. At eighteen he committed his mother to an institution and was forced to scheme his way through the casinos of Las Vegas to live and put himself through school. To this day he is still banned by most casinos in the Vegas area. 

“That's why I want to protect you baby, because you have had so much pain in your life and I only want you to experience happiness now” The words burned there way up my throat because I was about to cause him extreme pain and even though it was for his protection it still broke me that he was going to suffer for it. 

“I'm never going to win with you am I!” I heard him ask, the look on his face full of love instead of the earlier anger. “I don't know what I did to ever deserve someone like you but I am so thankful to have you in my life” I couldn't answer him due to the lump of pain in my throat as I pulled him into my arms and held him close. We made love one final time after that before heading back home. The ride was quiet as he read his book and I lost myself in my thoughts and my pain. Morgan had texted me earlier after we had made love, alerting me to the fact that the time had come for us to leave. Everything was in motion and in a few short hours I would be on a plane heading into a new life until the price that had been put on my head had been taken care of. 

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

“He's angry but he never got over you” He breaks me from my thoughts as I lower my gun and put it back in its holster. “He told me right from the start that he was very deeply in love with someone and could never commit to me fully” 

“What part of you were supposed to be a ghost didn't you understand?” I growl, my fingers itching to grab my gun once again. 

“I tried and I was until he started looking around for a private investigator. I knew I had to step in before he found someone to look for you or worse yet got himself in trouble” He began to explain as he walks to the dresser that Spencer and I used to share and begins pulling clothing from it and shoving it in a bag. “I contacted him and told him I had heard he was looking for a private investigator and I was the best in the business. He bought it hook line and sinker”

“That explains how you came into his life but please explain how you became his lover and moved into my house?” I am so livid I just want to shoot him dead and then shoot him again for good measure. 

“He's Spencer” He shrugs as he continues to empty the drawers. “I kept feeding him dead ends for a long time and then one night I told him that I had found you and you were living a grand life without him. He demanded proof so I found some old pictures of you partying with some young men? Touched them up and gave them to him as proof. I convinced him that it was best to forget you and move on” 

“You are not making me want to kill you any less” I roar as I place my hand on my holster once again. 

“I don't care” He shrugs again as he turns to face me. “He was so distraught once he accepted the fact that you were completely gone and I was there to pick up the pieces. It was platonic for a while but he just has this was of worming his way into your heart. It didn't take long for me to fall head over heels in love with him despite the fact I knew eventually you were going to crawl back out of the woodwork. He came home that night after seeing you and confronted me. I debated lying to him and denying his allegations in hopes of having s little more time with him but let's face it the man will always love you no matter what you do to him”

A small touch of sorrow falls over me as I take in the dejected man before me. Gone is the self assured man for hire that I met two years ago and I can completely understand his heartache because I've been there as well since I left here. “Where is he?” I ask because I've been here nearly an hour and Spencer has not returned from wherever he's been. 

“He left that night for the vacation house and has been there ever sense. Don't worry I've got the best security team possible protecting him and the area. Derek’s with him as well so he's safe” I hear him say as I try to figure out why Derek is there with Spencer in the first place. “In your study there is a list of all the places where the cameras are installed for both houses and the codes needed to shut them off” He tells me as he heads for the bedroom door. “I don't expect to get paid for my services and I'm fine with that but I want you to know that I don't regret for one second falling in love with him. Spencer is an amazing man and truthfully neither one of us deserve him but you are his everything” The is such sadness in his voice as he turns and walks away. 

“I know” I respond to the empty doorway because he is right in that I don't deserve him. He deserves so much more then what a life with me can offer and I know I should have stayed away but how could I when he owns my very heart and soul. I push the guilt away as I call for my driver. I hope that I can come up with some way to make him forgive me and allow me back into his life but sadly I know there is a good chance that I may not. 

It's nearly dark by the time I reach the vacation home I purchased for Spencer before I left. The guards at the gate greet me with a nod before letting me in. I have no idea what I am going to say to him once I find him but I'm not opposed to falling to my knees and begging for forgiveness. Loud voices to the left of me catch my attention as I exit the car, one of them Spencer's as I race towards it. The voices grow louder the closer I get to the dock, Spencer and Morgan yelling at each other in a way I have never seen before. They don't even know I'm here as Spencer paces back and fourth like a madman while Morgan stands with his arms crossed at the chest and a look of pure anger on his face. 

“About time you fucking got here” I hear him yell as he storms up to me, grabs my shirt and rips it open before jerking it off of my body altogether. I don't even have a chance to fight him as he grabs me and holds me in place no matter how much I am trying to fight him. “Does this look like he was on a fucking vacation and having the time of his life” He screams at Spencer while still holding onto me. “This is why he had to leave because this could have happened to you or worse yet you could have been killed” I am shocked and furious with Derek as I finally break free, rear back and punch him square in the face. It hardly moves him as he steps back a bit from the force and then gains his composer once again. “I had to show him” He yells, not retaliating in the way I expected him to. “He didn't believe me when I told him our lives where in danger and you did what you did to protect him. 

I am totally focused on Derek and not Spencer as he finally speaks. “Did you kill him?” He asks but neither Derek or myself seem to be able to speak at the strangeness of his voice. “I said did you fucking kill him?” He asks again with such anger that it startles the two of us. 

“Yes…I made sure that he and his crew will never get the chance to hurt Hotch or anyone else again” Derek finally speaks. I feel self conscious as Spencer walks up to me, placing his hand upon my stomach, the anger gone and in its place a look that I can't quite read. Tears come next as he continues to touch the raw scars covering my entire abdomen. 

His touch and his tears are too much to take as I back away from him and run towards the house. Tears of anger burn at my own eyes as I rush into the house and slam the door loudly behind me. I know that I came here in hopes of making amends with Spencer but now I only want to be alone with my fears and the horrible images plaguing my memory. 

TBC...


	6. Chapter 6

Flashback…

Derek and I had been on the run for nearly a year when the attack happened. I had safe houses in just about every country but it didn't matter where I went because within weeks we would get word that our enemies were on to us and we had to run again. As if the constant fear for our lives wasn't enough, the fact that I missed Spencer with ever fiber of my being nearly crushed me and made me want to give up and give in and yet because of him I held strong. 

At first we thought the warring faction was only a few families here in the states but they also had a few families overseas who wanted me dead as well. Alone they were pretty easy to overtake but when they banded together, despite who I was and the resources I had available I was out numbered. However, as I was running I was also building my own army to overtake them and make sure they never tried again. At the same time my frustration was growing with each day that passed and I started to lose my focus and it nearly cost me my life. 

The morning it happened Derek and I had got into a huge argument because we had gotten word through our network that they were moving in on us again and normally I wouldn't hesitate to listen to him, however, that morning I had only one thing on my mind and nothing else. Spencer's Birthday was quickly approaching and although I knew it was risky I wanted to send him a birthday present so he knew I remembered and was still thinking of him. Earlier in the week while strolling through the town we were staying in I noticed an antique book store. Immediately I thought of Spencer and the last true day we had spent together. The shop was closed so I decided to visit it bright and early the next morning before we left for ever ever it was Derek had us moving to. Derek had tried to forbid me from going, claiming that it was best to move on but I ignored his advice and went anyway. The shop was loaded with so many beautiful books that I knew he would love and so I decided to purchase all of them. After speaking to the shopkeeper and arranging my gifts to be sent to my intended I decided to stop for a cup of coffee before heading back to the home we were staying in. I never saw them coming as I was grabbed from behind and dragged down a side alley. I was beaten and pounded on until I was nearly unconscious, my reality coming into clear and sharp focus as a knife was jabbed into my abdomen. The pain was something that I will never forget as he continued to stab me over and over again. I lost track of time after that and just as I was about to give in and allow death to take me a familiar face came into my line of sight. “Don't you dare die on me Hotch” Was the last thing I heard before Derek's face and reality disappeared altogether. 

I had no idea where I was or what had happened to me as I opened my eyes much later and found myself in a strange room. I started to panic when I tried to move and found that I couldn't, my fears diminishing when I glanced to the side and found Derek asleep in a chair. I tried to speak but my throat and mouth felt as dry as the desert. I tried to stay awake but it was a loosing battle as I closed my eyes and lost myself once again. Sometime later I woke up yet again by a jolt of pain in my midsection. I tried to cry out on pain but my throats was still so dry that all that came out was loud coughing which only seemed to make me hurt even more. “Easy…I know it hurts but I have to change the bandages” I heard a feminine voice say as a beautiful woman's face came into view. “I'm going to give you some more pain medication and a stronger antibiotic which will make you more comfortable” She went on as Derek's concerned face appeared behind her. I didn't think anything was going to make me feel any sort of comfort from the intense pain but then I the pain began to ebb away and I slipped into blackness once again. Even now I don't recollect much but according to Derek I slipped in and out of consciousness for nearly a week, my body weakened and in shock by the brutality and loss of blood at the hand of my attackers. To make matters worse I also developed an infection in my wounds and for a while the doctors weren't sure I was going to make it. It was a slow and intense process but eventually I was able to overcome my injuries and was released from the hospital. 

While I was in the hospital not once did I think about our situation because I knew in my absence Derek was doing his job and keeping everything running. He proved me right as one day he rushed into my room with the biggest smile on his face. “We’re going home” He announced loudly. I had no idea what he was talking about since a few days earlier we had been discussing where we were going to leave for next. “Do you hear what I'm saying…within the next couple of days we will be back home” The smile of his face grew even larger as he began dancing around the room. 

“Home?” I questioned quietly because I honestly never thought that it would ever happen. “How?” 

“Because I made sure that every single one of those fuckers that tried to kill you suffered greatly before they died and all their known associates as well” He announced proudly as he sat down on the chair next to my bed. “It's over Hotch. I've had plans in the works for months and after your attack I made sure to put it into motion to end this madness. Your position as the baddest mother fucker is still in tack and you can finally go back home and be with pretty boy” Usually I would give him grief about calling Spencer that but in that exact moment all I could think about was what I was going to have to do to make him understand why I did what I did or if it would even matter to him once I did. 

End Flashback…

 

TBC...


	7. Chapter 7

I am jerked from my thoughts as a pissed off looking Derek stalks into the room. “I don't want to hear a word” I growl as he stands before the chair I am sitting on. “You deserved that and a whole lot more” My words get louder as I get up and pace around the room. “I was worried enough about trying to win him back and now I have this to worry about as well” I yell as I gesture to my severely scarred stomach hiding under a new shirt. Not once in all the years have I ever shown insecurity in front of Derek or anyone for that matter. I always felt that I had to be perfect and strong and show no weakness but in this moment I don't care because after my attack I don’t feel perfect anymore. “I don't know what the hell I was thinking coming back here” I sigh as I fall heavily back into the seat I was sitting on. “ I should have just stayed away and let him move on with his life”

“With Alvez” He says as he leans against the wall staring at me while his cheek seems to get a little bit darker the longer I stare back. 

“With anyone who can give him what he needs” I reply shortly as I cross my arms over my chest like a spoiled child. 

“And you don't think that you can give him what he needs” He questions as he crosses his arms over his chest as well. 

“ No…not anymore” My stomach clenches as I recall many a night making love to Spencer and his fascination with my body, partially my flat stomach. 

“Wow…you get stabbed fifty seven times in the stomach and you lose all of your superpowers” He grumbles as he moves across the room and sits down in the chair across from me. His eyes are locked on mine in a way that unnerves me and for the first time ever I realize that as close as he and I have become in our working relationship, there is something so much more there. I realize that he isn't only my second in command and truest confidant, but that he is my closest family as well. 

“Thank you Derek” I say as I reach over and place my hand on his arm. “You have been my closest confidant for as long as I can remember. You have stood by my side and defended me even when you thought I was wrong and I know that if it hadn't been for you I wouldn't even be alive today” I continue to speak, staring into his eyes because I want him to know that everything I am saying is coming from the heart. “I also know that you have been picking up the slack since Spencer and I have started dating. In fact I know that you've been pretty much running the show since then. So I want to thank you and make you aware that I known how much you do for me and how much it means that you do”

He seems uncomfortable as he shifts away from my hand but I can see that my words have touched him at the smile and blush on his face. “I don't do as much as you think I do and besides with what you pay me I have no complaints about what I do” He plays it off and I can't help but smile because it such a Derek thing to do. 

“I honestly don't pay you enough for all that you do and have done” I reply as I get up and cross the room towards my desk. “But I'm going to make it up to you. You know this organization like the back of your hand and because of you it is always running like a well oiled machine”

“Hotch…” He says my name as I open up the desk drawer and pull out a stack of papers. His eyes bore into mine as I retake my seat and hand them to him. “I don't understand” He says in confusion as he takes them and begins to browse through them. “Hotch” He says my name again as he looks up from the stack at me. “What is this?” 

“Let's face it…I'm getting old” I say instead of answering him as I swipe at imaginary dust on my pants. “I have no heirs to take my place when the time comes for me to step down or if I am killed” I pause for a moment because in my profession ones life expectancy is usually cut pretty short. Other then Spencer I don't have any family and honestly at this point I'm sure that he considers me anything but family” I hesitate again at how much those words kill me to say. “Where is he by the way?” I ask because I had no idea after I had stormed off. 

“He went to his room” He responds as he lifts the stack of papers up towards me. “Now care to explain this” 

“I know you hate sappy and I do too but I want you to know that I appreciate everything that you do for me and this organization” I can feel the tears welling up as I take a deep breath and start again. “You've come to mean more to me then just an employee. Like I said before you have been by my side through everything. The lows when I almost died and the highs when you forced me to get over myself and bring Spencer into my life. I know I frustrate you with my indecisions sometimes but you literally have always had my back. In fact I misspoke earlier when I told you that I didn't have any heirs because I do. I've always had a fondness for you Derek. From the moment I plucked your hood ass off the streets there was something about you. It took me a long time to realize what it was and this…” I indicate towards the paperwork. “Is because of that realization” 

“This is your last will and testament” He whispers with tears in his own eyes as he lays his hands in his lap. 

“It is” I reply simply. 

“You have me as your soul heir” His voice is so low that I hardly hear him. 

“Derek…you are the closest thing I have to a son and everything in those forms you have earned but most importantly you deserve” I tell him with a smile as I watch him wipe at his eyes. 

“I can't take any of this” He says as he shoves the stack back towards me. “You aren't anywhere near retirement age and you have Spencer to think about” He growls as he gets up off of his chair and begins to pace before me. 

“Who said anything about retirement?” I question with a smirk as I watch him turn and look at me in full confusion. 

“But the will and…” He stammers as he continues to stare at me. “I know why you are doing this” He growls as he points a finger at me. “You almost died and it freaked you out but you survived and you are going to live a very long life and conquer more territory then you ever thought possible”

“My champion” I actually giggle as I place the paperwork on a nearby table and get up. “Listen to me Derek. I have no plans to retire anytime soon but at some point I will and in the meantime I will begin grooming you to take over my reign. Now as for Spencer…lord knows if he will ever forgive me and allow me back into his life but be assured I have taken care of him as well. After I am gone he will still want for nothing” I say as my thoughts turn to Spencer and just how much I long for him to forgive me. 

“He's been good for you” Derek says as he breaks me from my thoughts. “Truthfully you were a big asshole before you met him in Vegas” He's got a grin on his face but I can still see that my news has shaken him up a bit. “You came back and I noticed it right away and the longer you dated the more you changed. Don't get me wrong you can still be a big asshole but we don't see it very much anymore” 

“Are you trying to say I've gone soft?” I question, trying to sound stern but sounding anything but. 

“Yeah…but in a completely good way” 

“Yeah” I reply with a sigh as once again I am faced with the fact that he may never forgive me for what I did. “Can I ask what you two were arguing about when I got here?” I ask even though I am pretty sure I already know. 

“He called and asked me to meet him up here” He began to explain. “I got up here as quick as I could because I hadn't seen him since we had gotten back. I was hopeful that he might even tell me that he had changed his mind and forgiven you but the moment I got here he went off on me. First he blamed me for letting you go through with your plan to leave him and then he went on this rant about how you never truly loved him and that you were to much of a coward to just break up with him when clearly you had someone else on the side” A rush of breath leaves my body at those words because no matter how angry I felt Spencer might be at me I never in a million years expected him to be so angry that he felt I had left the country to be with another man. If anything I should be angry in that he took another lover after I left but at the same time I know I have no right because I was the one that left. 

“He's angry Hotch, and was just lashing out” Derek rushes out as he crosses the room once again and falls to his knees in front of me. “I tried to explain to him why we did what we did but he wasn't having it. He accused us of living a life of leisure while he was left back here alone. You took that exact moment to show up and without really thinking I did what I did. I wasn't trying to hurt or embarrass you but I wanted him to see tangible proof that every thing he had said was complete bullshit”

“Maybe I should have just stayed away” I reply sadly, my heart breaking all over again. “Maybe I should have just let him live his life because clearly I am completely fucking it up” I don't have a chance to say anything else as the door to my office flies open and Spencer rushes in. 

“Get out” He yells at Derek, his face contorted in anger. “I said get the fuck out” He demands again with a glare. 

Derek says nothing as he rises to his full height and glares back at the man I love. “I am going to let you get away with this little tantrum of yours but you can best believe we are going to rehash this once you get over yourself and realize what a little shit you are being” He finally speaks, his fists clenched at his side. “Hotch you and I can discuss more about what we were talking about before later” He says as he turns and faces me. 

“There is nothing to discuss Derek” I reply with a nod and half smile. “It's already in the works with my lawyer and as I said before you deserve it”

Again he is speechless as he nods back in reply before turning back to face Spencer. “You don't deserve him” He finally breaks his silence with a poke to Spencer's chest. “That man has done everything for you from the moment he met you and you are too selfish and to spoiled to see it. I thought you were better then this Spencer, but I guess I was wrong” I watch Spencer as he deflates a little but the look of anger never fully disappears. “Stupid fucking brat” He grunts out as he heads for the door. 

The room is completely silent after Derek exits and it is more unnerving then any deal or takeover I have ever dealt with in my life. I go to speak but he cuts me off as he begins to pace like a madman before me. “Does it hurt?” He questions as he stops for a moment before starting once again. 

“No” I lie because even though I am fully healed there is still pain most times. 

“I don't know what to say” He says as he comes to a halt and looks at me with confused anger. “I am so angry at you for leaving the way that you did and yet I understand why you did it. I may understand but that doesn't make me hate you any less” I say nothing because even if I want to the pain lodged in my throats prevents it. “I don't know what to feel anymore either” He continues with his pacing, causing me to grow a bit dizzy as he speeds back and forth across the room. “Shit” He screams into the air as he falls down into the chair Derek had been sitting on before. “I haven't decided to forgive you yet but I do owe you a thank you for continuing to take care of me after you left. You could have just left me with nothing but you took care of my every need” He grows quiet and seems to be pondering something before looking over at me. “I haven't decided to forgive you” He repeats as he takes a deep breath. “But if I do I have a few demands that are non-negotiable” 

“Anything” I blurt out because at this point I will do anything he asks of me in order to gain his forgiveness. 

“If I forgive you I want your solid promise that you will never do anything like this again. If something else like a hit is put on your life we run together. You broke my heart and my trust when you left me and I don't know if I can ever get over that” I say nothing as I watch him fidget with the arm of the chair. “Gay marriage is legal now so I want to get married. If you love me the way that you claim then you should want to bind your life with mine” My breath catches in my throats because there is nothing more in this world that I want then to marry him and bind our lives together forever. “I want you to pay Luke everything that you owe him. You can be angry at him all you want but he was there for me when you weren't. I was devastated when you just up and left and he was able to keep me together when all I wanted to do was fall apart. He may have deceived me as to why he came into my life but I could tell his feelings for me were real” 

“You want me to pay the man I hired to be a ghost in your life in order to protect you and instead you fell in love with?” I grumble, knowing that I am pushing the line with him but not caring at the same time. “I would rather put a bullet through his thieving heart then pay him a dime of what he's owed” 

“There was never any love there…at least on my part” He says as he folds his hands in his lap while clenching and un-clenching his fingers. “I care for Luke but I told him right from the beginning that I could never love him the way that I…loved somebody else” He rushes out the last part as he jumps up off of the chair and once again begins pacing. “Either way he did his job protecting me and he deserves to be compensated. The urge to yell is great but I hold back because I am hopeful that we are heading towards a place of forgiveness and if it means paying the slim ball who tried to steal my man then so be it. “Lastly I want to be brought into your organization. I know you didn't realize I knew who you were but I learned everything about you the minute I left your hotel suite that next morning. I am an extremely intelligent man and I know I can help build it up until we are unstoppable”

“No…” I answer simply as I pick up the stack of papers from before and walk them to my desk. 

“These terms are non-negotiable” He warns but I don't care as he blinks rapidly and swallows several times. He's bluffing and I know it as I strode over to where he is standing, pull him into my arms and kiss him. He falls into the kiss without hesitation, his arms wrapping around my back as he does. 

“You want a solid promise from me that I will never leave you again…you got it. I will put it in writing and declare it from the roof tops if that's what you want but know this...you may think you know who I am and what I do but you don't know the true nature of my job and how dangerous it really is. I have been living with nothing but pure guilt exposing you to this when you came into my life but don't think for one second that I regret having you there. You want to get married then we will get married but our marriage will be huge news no matter how small or private it is and that alone will put you on my enemies radar in a way you never were before. You want me to pay they bastard, Alvez then I will but only because I know the pain he is going through losing you. I lived with that pain and yet I will still get a sick revenge because there is no amount of money in the world that can take that kind of pain away. I will give you whatever you want but I won't allow you to get tangled up in my organization. It's not because you aren't good enough or smart enough but because you are too good of a person to fall into something so evil. I love you Spencer and I will do anything you ask to make you forgive me but please don't ask me to do that” I have tears in my eyes as I continue to hold him, waiting to see what he will say next. 

“I tried so hard to hate you” He says instead of the argument I am expecting. “Everyday you were gone I would try and force myself but it never worked because no matter how hard I tried the love I have for you always fought me. You are the love of my life Aaron Hotchner and you always will be no matter what you do to me” His breath hitches into a sob as his arms tighten around me even more and he buries his face in my neck. “Please don't leave me again because you nearly broke me the first time and I know I won't survive a second time”

“Oh god Spencer…you have to believe that I feel the same way as well. You are the love of my life and I only did what I thought was right in protecting you. Please baby…please forgive me” We are both crying as our mouths crash together in a kiss that gives me all the answers that I need to know. He forgives me and still loves me and although I know there is still a lot to talk about, I know we will get through it together in the end. 

The End…


End file.
